“The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow with ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger trees,
The further sky, the greater length,
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.
Where thickest lies the forest growth
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.”
– “Good Timber” by Douglas Malloch
First of Firsts
On January 6th, 2024, I got my very first wrestling win at the Lafayette tournament. Before the whole debacle, I was 0-2. I lost embarrassingly fast my first two matches -within the very first minute-, and I remember going outside and hysterically crying after getting cradled by a girl in my second match. Although defeated, I was very determined to not place dead last again. I remember the match very vividly. The first period was me trying to set up a shot -she was very defensive in her hand-fighting. At the beginning of the second period, Bader told me to go on bottom (probably because I have so much experience on bottom, lmao). But I honestly swear to god, I could not get my ass up. Like I was just stuck there, couldn’t build up to my base or anything, and was trying to not get half-nelsoned. After god knows how long, I think the second period ended and we started up on neutral again. I went for a double leg that I somehow landed, got her down on her belly, and sunk in a half-nelson. Even now, I can still remember the feeling of excitement and rush of emotions that I and my teammates felt that very moment. I finally got my reward after hours of long, grueling practices and discouraging matches.
The Importance of Losing
Although winning for the first time was an indescribable experience, I think all of the losses I have gone through these past two months really contributed more to the person/wrestler I am today. For the last couple of years, I would describe myself as still being trapped inside my own bubble. I did not really try anything new my freshman year, I stuck with the old clubs and people that I was familiar with in middle school. This was probably not something I intentionally did, but rather a response to the feeling of embarrassment of my actions from my 8th grade year. Joining wrestling, was a spontaneous and out-of-character choice that I made in an effort to try new things. Corny right? But, with trying something new, inevitably comes failure. And there has been a lot of it these past months. Although the emotions that came with losing are never easy to deal with, I learned how to take responsibility for myself. My decisions and actions were the only factors in the outcome of a match. Even if my teammates and coaches might share the feelings of my victory or defeat, at the end of the day it is just me, in a singlet, with stupid headgear on. And although it is okay to feel those emotions of disappointment, what is even more important is to pull yourself up again. To use the frustration and sadness to push even harder. Because only then, can you experience unforgettable moments like your first win.